An Obituary of a Liberated

K.L.Mohana Varma,the famous novelist was the chief guest of the day.It was the third day of the film festival.After screening Adoor Gopalakrishnan's Elippathayam, there was a Marathi film too.People didn't disperse after the film show.It was 12.45 noon.We all patiently waited to listen to Mohana V
arma.He came, stood at the podium and viewed the audience for a few seconds, silently.Then he started: 'I feel happy to see so many people but I am also sad to notice something.Only a very few ladies are present here to appreciate such films.... .I wonder why women are not reaching a level, a standard.....This is not the first time I am witnessing this disheartening phenomenon.....'. He went on.I couldn't listen to him after a few minutes.I felt greatly disturbed,agitated.Everybody around me was engrossed in K.L.Mohanavarma.
Yes, in fact,there were only very few ladies who had come ,not that day alone, but the previous days of the festival also.Sitting there, I visualised the wives of all the 200 and odd men who were listening to the novelist...Some of them were doing the finishing touches to the dishes they were to produce at the table very soon.Their husbands will be coming back hungry;they could be very critical if food is lousy,especially today being a holiday, the wife was 'sitting at home all day'.Some were ironing the clothes for those who would go out of the house the next day .Yet others were with their little ones coaxing them to do their assignments,preparing them for the mid term tests, listening to their woes and complains,solving their social issues....A few were sitting in front of the T.V,occasionally wondering where their husbands had gone.... and how long they will have to wait to have lunch....Soon the men would return to their homes,fresh steaming food would be served,plates would be cleared off the table,vessels would be washed and put back..
Suddenly I woke up to the novelist's long pause.Then he asked,'When we talk of the liberation of women so loudly through our movies like the ones screened today,I wish they would show more interest and involvement...'. Thankfully, I didn't feel any surge of adrenaline any more.

Two weeks back there was a get-together of four families ;we four ladies and our husbands.Men were ex-classmates, meeting after a long time.All of them have made their lives,children well settled etc,etc.At some point our conversation slipped to the topic of the increasing number of divorces.Though many reasons were discussed,generally everyone seemed to share the opinion that large number of marriages were breaking down because of the false feeling of independence and pride of the girls,their inability to adjust,their intolerance...As usual I was more of an observer and a listener rater than a speaker ,not out of preference but because what I wanted to say always seemed to strike a discord.I am scared of being stamped with a different colour, of losing their comradeship.One friend was talking of the great sanctity attached to the institution called marriage in olden days.....come what may, the ladies did put up with any situation for the sake of harmony in the family..which in turn led to their happiness...A woman is the lamp of the house...She has to burn if she needs to be ...
I remembered another discussion which took place a long time ago, inside a car.Five of us ,including a very popular widower uncle ,his daughter and her husband were going somewhere.My uncle was talking about his wife who was no more.He was all in praise for her.What a patient lady she was,blessed with a lot of talent,how efficiently she run the day to day affairs of the family,catering to all his whims and fancies which included his special taste in food,his clothes,his bath...He said he was hundred percent satisfied with her...,with his marriage...Suddenly his daughter asked a question,'Can u say the same about her? Was she hundred percent satisfied with you? With her marriage?'He stopped abruptly,looked at his daughter as if she just spoke blasphemy in Greek.From his expression it was obvious that such a question had never crossed his mind.Even the possibility of such a question had not occurred to him even remotely. He looked through the window.Nobody spoke .And then he was heard mumbling,'I don't know'.

The daughter made her point for the sake of her dead mother.

I copied that daughter to make my point - Are you sure the female members of the joint family you were talking about were happy ?' A discord was struck ,as I feared.The conversation was turning to be an argument...... The happiness of the women depended on the happiness of the men...,they were selfless and were proud of living for their folk...,they were the people who stooped to conquer...
I don't know,it may be right.But I know of only ladies who have got nothing but a hunch back by stooping through out their lives, or at the best ,a posthumous Veera Chakra as awarded by the uncle on that day, in the car.I might be wrong.

Last week I told a close friend of mine ,a noble soul ,that I had started a blog last year but somehow ,of late am not writing anything in it.She wanted to know the blog address to see what was in it.Next day she called.She and her husband read the blog .They liked it..., they didn't know I wrote such stuff...,I was known to them as a person of few words....(of course,they couldn't have meant 'of wisdom')....And then very innocently ,without the least intention of offending me, she asked -

'Did your husband help you to write all this?'

WHAT ? !

'No,no...What I meant was ,did he ... did he edit it....er..may be ....I mean ,told some comments to help...sorry ,it was ...it was ..my husband ..who had the...er..doubt.'

I DIED , A SUDDEN DEATH.

SO GOD, I AM COMING .I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS TO ASK U.YOU BETTER DO YOUR HOME WORK AND BE READY.YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A TOUGH TIME WITH ME - I WARN YOU.