I still vividly remember that evening - the evening after the wedding.She was clad in a rich purple saree with heavy jerry,elegant jewellery,light makeup,long hair in a single pleat.She,even otherwise a beautiful girl, was sparkling in the bride's attire.I stood at the foot of the stairs to admire her coming down the stairs.We moved to the hall of the Hotel for the wedding reception.Someone was talking in a harsh voice very loudly.The tone sounded completely out of place in a festive mood.But the voice became more and more intense.All activities stood still for some time.I didn't quite understand what was happening.Then slowly realization dawned.The groom's father was highly agitated because the bride had reached the reception hall 4-5 minutes later than the time printed in the invitation!In fact ,none of the guests had reached.The reception was for a span of 3 hours and it was only 4 O'clock.What followed was the unravelling of an unbelievable drama played by a single character called the father-in law.At the end of the day when the bride's father stood helpless with not a drop of blood on his face, the bride was whisked away from the midst of all ,with the sharp words,"None of you need come to our house hereafter".That night ,her wedding night, marked the beginning of her night- like -life thereafter.
The agony of her father who had found a 'good catch'for his motherless child was beyond words.We all understood the magnitude of the blunder called that 'good catch'.Next few months news about her miserable life in her new home trickled down like words of molten sorrow.Everything that could be thought of was done to bring her back.BUT.... Why..?After 31 years that WHY is still an unanswered question in every one's mind.Why didn't she come back?No amount of physical and mental suffering could make her waver.She stayed on ,cut off all her contacts with the outside,never breathed a word seeking help or even pity.Who can judge if she was wise or not?Or can wisdom dictate the last words in matters where intuition and emotion play hide and seek with faculties of brain?She chose to stay on in a house where even her existence was at stake.Slowly ,one by one the nails of her living coffin-so we thought- fell off.Her mother-in-law,brother-in-law,father-in-law and finally two days back her -10years and more- bedridden husband died ,survived by her mentally challenged son ! The whole village had come in condolence.They speak of how dedicated she was in looking after each one of that family.She still stays on ...looking after her 30 year old son ,unmindful of the world with all it's magic and music passing her by...
* * * * * * * * * *
Did u know ,PR has filed a divorce notice .
Oh,really? But,why?
You see,she was frustrated .Her husband was getting a few thousands less than her and she felt that was leading to some complex or something.
Um mm....
And she was telling that her in-laws didn't wish her even for her first birthday after the wedding.Such a pity.
Um mm...
Strange are the ways of the world.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Another ' arrow from the bow'
' Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of God.'
All alone,my 10 year old nephew has come to spend his summer holidays with us.For his parents and for me ,there is an agenda behind his visit.Of course ,it is not hidden from him either.He has to be polished 'mathematically',scrubbed 'spelligaly', stregthened 'tennisically'and whetted 'swimmigwise'.He came ready ,all set for the joke ,with a backpack of clothes and a carton of books.I too was ready long before his arrival ,all set for the most serious ,life or death challenge I have ever undertaken in my life.Loads of worksheets were downloaded from the net,printouts taken ,his room decorated with motivating quotes written on chart papers and with a big picture of his favourite car BMW,rescheduled my work commitments outside the house,stocked all processed and could-be-prosessed healthy food stuffs ......and spent sleepless nights planning.
On the first day I gave a long speech describing the things we were going to do together, how easy it was going to be for him in his next class if he studied everything in advance ,how people have reached heights,why people fail in their life .... ....But since his yawning was not very encouraging for me I had to reluctantly cut short the prepared speech.Still not a bad beginning.I showed him the +ve points chart specially designed for him.Any good or smart deed will be rewarded with a point in the chart.
Very magnanimously I allowed freedom on the first day.He could do anything , just relax and be ready for the real business which will start on the next day.He can watch TV or play a game with me or read a book or go down and make some new friends or........He asked me, "can I sleep?"
Wake up at the first call and a point will fall on the chart -was my goodnight parting words to him.He did wake up -at the 28th call but nevertheless, I gave him the point 'cos I know that a child can flourish only with +ve strokes and you shouldn't be stingy about it.And also a job well begun is half done.So I couldn't afford not to give the point.
A brief invocation of Ganapathy(which I didn't know but learned with great effort the day before )and our battle started.The first set of worksheets with 25 questions in maths were taken out,time set for one hour and starting shot fired.I left the room to avoid my unhealthy interference .Oh, so this is what they say ' the anxious moments outside the delivery room'.Time over.On entering the ' delivery room ' I couldn't see him anywhere there.He was in the toilet.Before he came out I gave an anxious glance at his work.The glance became a stare and the stare had become a glare when he opened the toilet door.There was one question number neatly written and beautifully and elaborately decorated on the answer sheet and that was all !
In the evening he was taken to a pizza selling restaurant. I wanted to give him the pleasure of ordering his choice. No limits,I said ,U can order what you want.I had decided that I will not impose my opinion or try to influence him in his choice.Children should be treated with the same respect that you give to a grownup,you know. I wanted to be a model in all these matters.And he ordered- One large pizza with chicken ,olive and cheese toppings, one veg and egg double burger , some garlic bread , one plate of finger chips and a large sprite.I too placed my order-A large glass of water with no ice.Our food came with a reasonably long delay.He began eating and I sat back and enjoyed the sight of him relishing the food.He started off with his favourite pizza. He had the last bite of one fifth of the large pizza and said with a very contented look and a beautiful smile, "I am F U L L".
As for tennis and swimming, it's going on without any hinderence.
Now 28 days have passed.He has only 12 more days with me.Meanwhile I was going on submitting the daily report of his progress through morning and evening phone calls to his parents who are far away.They don't seem to be quite happy.But I am very optimistic.We still have time to study fractions,decimals,profit andloss,conversions,lines,triangles,circles,perimeter,
area,volume and just a bit of algebra.After all ,we finished revision of addition and subtraction within these 28 days,didn't we?Yes ,it's true that he knew them very well since he had studied them 2 years back,but we revised them very well. And the positive point chart is not empty at all-he has scored two points.There is still time to get enough points to fill the rest 98 boxes.As I always advise his parents ,you have to be positive in your outlook,then only things will work out well,you see.
All alone,my 10 year old nephew has come to spend his summer holidays with us.For his parents and for me ,there is an agenda behind his visit.Of course ,it is not hidden from him either.He has to be polished 'mathematically',scrubbed 'spelligaly', stregthened 'tennisically'and whetted 'swimmigwise'.He came ready ,all set for the joke ,with a backpack of clothes and a carton of books.I too was ready long before his arrival ,all set for the most serious ,life or death challenge I have ever undertaken in my life.Loads of worksheets were downloaded from the net,printouts taken ,his room decorated with motivating quotes written on chart papers and with a big picture of his favourite car BMW,rescheduled my work commitments outside the house,stocked all processed and could-be-prosessed healthy food stuffs ......and spent sleepless nights planning.
On the first day I gave a long speech describing the things we were going to do together, how easy it was going to be for him in his next class if he studied everything in advance ,how people have reached heights,why people fail in their life .... ....But since his yawning was not very encouraging for me I had to reluctantly cut short the prepared speech.Still not a bad beginning.I showed him the +ve points chart specially designed for him.Any good or smart deed will be rewarded with a point in the chart.
Very magnanimously I allowed freedom on the first day.He could do anything , just relax and be ready for the real business which will start on the next day.He can watch TV or play a game with me or read a book or go down and make some new friends or........He asked me, "can I sleep?"
Wake up at the first call and a point will fall on the chart -was my goodnight parting words to him.He did wake up -at the 28th call but nevertheless, I gave him the point 'cos I know that a child can flourish only with +ve strokes and you shouldn't be stingy about it.And also a job well begun is half done.So I couldn't afford not to give the point.
A brief invocation of Ganapathy(which I didn't know but learned with great effort the day before )and our battle started.The first set of worksheets with 25 questions in maths were taken out,time set for one hour and starting shot fired.I left the room to avoid my unhealthy interference .Oh, so this is what they say ' the anxious moments outside the delivery room'.Time over.On entering the ' delivery room ' I couldn't see him anywhere there.He was in the toilet.Before he came out I gave an anxious glance at his work.The glance became a stare and the stare had become a glare when he opened the toilet door.There was one question number neatly written and beautifully and elaborately decorated on the answer sheet and that was all !
In the evening he was taken to a pizza selling restaurant. I wanted to give him the pleasure of ordering his choice. No limits,I said ,U can order what you want.I had decided that I will not impose my opinion or try to influence him in his choice.Children should be treated with the same respect that you give to a grownup,you know. I wanted to be a model in all these matters.And he ordered- One large pizza with chicken ,olive and cheese toppings, one veg and egg double burger , some garlic bread , one plate of finger chips and a large sprite.I too placed my order-A large glass of water with no ice.Our food came with a reasonably long delay.He began eating and I sat back and enjoyed the sight of him relishing the food.He started off with his favourite pizza. He had the last bite of one fifth of the large pizza and said with a very contented look and a beautiful smile, "I am F U L L".
As for tennis and swimming, it's going on without any hinderence.
Now 28 days have passed.He has only 12 more days with me.Meanwhile I was going on submitting the daily report of his progress through morning and evening phone calls to his parents who are far away.They don't seem to be quite happy.But I am very optimistic.We still have time to study fractions,decimals,profit andloss,conversions,lines,triangles,circles,perimeter,
area,volume and just a bit of algebra.After all ,we finished revision of addition and subtraction within these 28 days,didn't we?Yes ,it's true that he knew them very well since he had studied them 2 years back,but we revised them very well. And the positive point chart is not empty at all-he has scored two points.There is still time to get enough points to fill the rest 98 boxes.As I always advise his parents ,you have to be positive in your outlook,then only things will work out well,you see.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Jonathan
Recently I had an occasion to remember him.Do you know his story?Well, in case you don't,in a nutshell it is something like this-
Jonathan Livingston was practicing.He spent days alone,making hundreds of low-level glides,experimenting.He wanted to know what he can do in the air and what he can't,that's all.He just wanted to know.
"Why Jonathan,why is it so hard to be like the rest of the folk,Jon?Don't you forget
that the the reason you fly is to eat."
In the night he climbed two thousand feet above the black sea.He didn't have a thought of failure or death.He brought his fore wings tightly close into his body,left only the narrow swept daggers of his wing tips extended into the wind,and fell into a vertical dive,a grey cannon ball under the moon.A seagull at a hundred and fourteen miles per hour! It was a breakthrough , the greatest single moment in the history of the folk.
"Jonathan, seagulls never fly in the dark.
We declare you an outcast".
He became an outcast.
He had to leave the folk.
There were two of them when they came ,two who glowed as pure starlight,but gentle and friendly in the high night air.
"Jonathan",the words were strong and calm.
"We have come to take you higher,to take you to another home"
"I am ready",he said.
He gave a last look across the sky,across the magnificent silver sand where he had learned so much,and he promised,
"I would come back one day to help my flock learn".
Jonathan Livingston rose with the other two to disappear into a perfect dark sky,to go beyond,to his new home to learn.
When they reached a place which was beautiful beyond imagination,he asked,"Is this Heaven?"
"No,Jonathan,there is no such place as Heaven.Heaven is not a place,it is not a time.Heaven is being perfect.And it isn't flying a thousand miles per hour,or a million,or flying at the speed of light.Because any number is a limit and perfection has no limit."
"Now, tell Jonathan,are you ready for learning the most difficult,the most powerful,the most fun of all?Are you ready to fly up and know the meaning of Kindness and of Love?
"Yes"
In a moment they were air-borne,practicing.He learnt at a tremendous rate though it was difficult.
When sun rose he saw,there were thousands of them,standing,looking curiously.
"Jonathan,remember what you said a long time ago about loving the folk enough to return to it and help it learn?"
" Sure".
"We don't understand how you manage to love a mob that made you an outcast."
"Oh,you don't love hatred and evil, of course.You have to practise and see the real,
the good in every one of them and to help to see it in themselves.It is fun,when you
get the knack of it."
They all looked at him quizzically.Suddenly he saw them all as they really were and he more than liked, he loved what he saw.
Their race to learn began.
Jonathan Livingston was practicing.He spent days alone,making hundreds of low-level glides,experimenting.He wanted to know what he can do in the air and what he can't,that's all.He just wanted to know.
"Why Jonathan,why is it so hard to be like the rest of the folk,Jon?Don't you forget
that the the reason you fly is to eat."
In the night he climbed two thousand feet above the black sea.He didn't have a thought of failure or death.He brought his fore wings tightly close into his body,left only the narrow swept daggers of his wing tips extended into the wind,and fell into a vertical dive,a grey cannon ball under the moon.A seagull at a hundred and fourteen miles per hour! It was a breakthrough , the greatest single moment in the history of the folk.
"Jonathan, seagulls never fly in the dark.
We declare you an outcast".
He became an outcast.
He had to leave the folk.
There were two of them when they came ,two who glowed as pure starlight,but gentle and friendly in the high night air.
"Jonathan",the words were strong and calm.
"We have come to take you higher,to take you to another home"
"I am ready",he said.
He gave a last look across the sky,across the magnificent silver sand where he had learned so much,and he promised,
"I would come back one day to help my flock learn".
Jonathan Livingston rose with the other two to disappear into a perfect dark sky,to go beyond,to his new home to learn.
When they reached a place which was beautiful beyond imagination,he asked,"Is this Heaven?"
"No,Jonathan,there is no such place as Heaven.Heaven is not a place,it is not a time.Heaven is being perfect.And it isn't flying a thousand miles per hour,or a million,or flying at the speed of light.Because any number is a limit and perfection has no limit."
"Now, tell Jonathan,are you ready for learning the most difficult,the most powerful,the most fun of all?Are you ready to fly up and know the meaning of Kindness and of Love?
"Yes"
In a moment they were air-borne,practicing.He learnt at a tremendous rate though it was difficult.
When sun rose he saw,there were thousands of them,standing,looking curiously.
"Jonathan,remember what you said a long time ago about loving the folk enough to return to it and help it learn?"
" Sure".
"We don't understand how you manage to love a mob that made you an outcast."
"Oh,you don't love hatred and evil, of course.You have to practise and see the real,
the good in every one of them and to help to see it in themselves.It is fun,when you
get the knack of it."
They all looked at him quizzically.Suddenly he saw them all as they really were and he more than liked, he loved what he saw.
Their race to learn began.
Monday, February 2, 2009
My mother was with me for the last two months.Her last stay for this long a period was when I delivered my daughter,28 years back.
She is 82,fragile and vulnerable to infections.She has some idea about her condition but still has gone back to her own domain,to stay alone,independently,without troubling anyone 'unnecessarily' and without being troubled also.We respect her decision ,mostly 'cos we are not left with a choice.
But...while she was leaving I read something unfamiliar in her whole being.A shadow of fear,a craving for reassurance,and a plea... for something.That was totally strange for me and anyone who knows her.I gave her my word,'there is nothing to worry at least for the next 3 years;you are as healthy as you were before your illness'.She seemed to trust me and I could feel her relaxing.Her faith in my words chocked me, because I was cheating her.The truth is I don't know the answer for her unasked question,nobody knows.They say,you have to think positively...speak positively...I wonder,sometimes does it amount to cheating?
She is 82,fragile and vulnerable to infections.She has some idea about her condition but still has gone back to her own domain,to stay alone,independently,without troubling anyone 'unnecessarily' and without being troubled also.We respect her decision ,mostly 'cos we are not left with a choice.
But...while she was leaving I read something unfamiliar in her whole being.A shadow of fear,a craving for reassurance,and a plea... for something.That was totally strange for me and anyone who knows her.I gave her my word,'there is nothing to worry at least for the next 3 years;you are as healthy as you were before your illness'.She seemed to trust me and I could feel her relaxing.Her faith in my words chocked me, because I was cheating her.The truth is I don't know the answer for her unasked question,nobody knows.They say,you have to think positively...speak positively...I wonder,sometimes does it amount to cheating?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)